When it rains, it pours...

I really do try to be pretty positive on this blog. I don't ever want to come off like I am complaining, because compared to some people's trials ours are a cake walk, but really trials are a part of life and this blog is like a journal about our life, so I guess I can be a little negative sometimes right? Wow I used a lot of commas in that sentence. Probably violated some English rules. Well here it goes...

Life has it's ups and downs of course, but I believe that for most of us we hit some pretty rough times when we are heading in the right direction. This is at least true with Casey & I. The beautiful thing is that in the end things really do work out the way that we were hoping. Really I think it is more Heavenly Father reminding me that he is in charge and that my life plan may be wonderful, but his plan for my life is even more wonderful. Anyways, i'm blabbering...

So Casey and I have been talking about buying a house for the past few months. We are done with apartments and rude neighbors and are ready for that next step in our life. We started to browse and got really excited when we realized we could actually afford to buy a house. We went to the bank confident that we would walk away with a home loan so that we could start looking for a house. Well we were wrong. Something came up in our credit report that we knew wasn't correct, but it was putting a pretty big ding in my credit score and we had to go through a process to get it fixed. I won't put all of the gory details on here, but long story short it feels like it is taking FOREVER for this to get straightened out. Things that should take days are taking weeks and the process is really quite slow. On the bright side though I really do feel that there is a reason that things are going this way. I know that there is a specific house we are supposed to be in and Heavenly Father just knows that it isn't quite time yet. It also gave me time to get a few loans consolidated which lessens our monthly payment and that helps in the whole mortgage process. In the end I know it will work out.

Trial # 2: My brain

Those of you who know me know that I am a WORRIER. I get anxiety over basically everything and I can sit and worry about something for days/weeks/months at a time. We are at a place in our lives where we are thinking it is almost time for us to have a baby, but don't you know that evil Satan guy likes to mess with my head. I worry that I won't be able to get pregnant. I worry that it won't go as planned. I worry that I will lose the baby. There was even a moment where I worried that I wasn't going to have kids because I wasn't going to be around to have kids. (Dark stuff, I know). Basically my mind has been at war with Satan. He doesn't really necessarily try to tempt me because he knows that he can get me just by planting negative thoughts in my head. Basically it is a trial I am trying to overcome and hope will go away in time.

Now, just to add to the stuff going on, poor Darla had a flat tire yesterday so we took her to Les Schwab and got it fixed. Well tonight as we were walking out of mom and dad's house what do we see? Oh the same tire is flat. Basically all I could do was laugh. Thank goodness we have Les Schwab tires, so everything is basically free on them. Woo hoo.

I really feel like running. I hate running, but for some reason I feel like it would be therapeutic for me. Maybe I will have to do it. Blast loud music and just run even if I feel like I might pass out.

Now on a positive note:

I am so thankful that I have a husband who holds the priesthood and honors his priesthood. In my darkest hours I have been able to ask him to give me a blessing and my mind has totally been at ease. Thank goodness for the Priesthood and for me marrying a man like Casey. In the end I know it will all work out. Thanks for listening to my venting. If you made it to the end you are a trooper. :)