4 more weeks... I can do it... right?

I officially have 4 more weeks of teaching and then maternity leave begins (unless the babe decides to come early that is...then I have less... but i'm not counting on him coming early, and I really need him to stay where he is until March 8th). I am literally counting down here. We have 4 1/2 weeks til the little man's due date, but I decided it would be okay to begin maternity leave a few days before that. It's all I can do to make it through a day anymore, let alone a week.

Work is a nightmare. My boss has some real problems with me...according to her I am a terrible teacher and my classroom management sucks. I hear about how horrible I am and about all of the things that I am doing wrong weekly. I never hear anything positive. My whole job with my school district is riding on this one person's ideas about me. I worry I won't have a job next year. I dread going to work every day... not so much because I hate my job or because I don't like my students, but because I have been so beaten down that I have no self-esteem anymore and the thought of my boss coming into my room terrifies me. How in the world do I go to a place where I don't feel like i'm worth anything and try to teach to the best of my ability? How do I deal with the stress of getting sub plans ready and being pregnant when in the back of my mind I just feel horrible about myself as a teacher? Going to bed each night is something I dread because I know that i'm going to have to wake up in the morning and face it all over again.

All I can do is keep the faith, read my scriptures, say my prayers, and thank my Father in Heaven for blessing me with this sweet baby boy who is going to be the gateway to getting out of that negative environment for 8 weeks. If we could afford it I would totally take the full 12 weeks off. I can hardly wait to meet my little boy. He is literally going to be my ray of light amidst a dark situation.

Sorry for the Debbie Downer post...I just can't wait... 4 more weeks...